Intimately entwined
Introduction
Intimately entwined
Introduction
Intimately Entwined
By Kathy Menzies & Mikal Nielsen
© 2016 by Kathy Menzies & Mikal Nielsen
Introduction
Has your intimate relationship got stale?
Have you lost the spark?
Are you craving a deeper connection with your partner?
Or are you simply looking for inspiration to take your relationship to a new level of joy and fulfillment?
Well, you are not alone! A healthy, fulfilling relationship is something that most people crave, and yet keeping the spark alive long term is one of the most difficult challenges we face.
Have you ever wished there was just one book that both you and your partner could relate to when it comes to understanding and growing your intimate relationship? A book that not only speaks to both the feminine and the masculine, but also is based on a real life relationship, dealing with real everyday issues that you can relate to?
Good news! You are reading such a book right now. We have been together for nearly 25 years, married for 19, and have been through extreme highs and extreme lows.
Throughout this time, we have worked our way through relationship books, seminars, programs, counselling and more. One major challenge we have faced with most of it though: it is either presented by a male or female and therefore naturally one sided, however knowledgeable the person may be.
The power and uniqueness of this book is:
It is written by a male and a female.
It is written by a male and a female who are in a long term relationship with each other.
It is written by a male and a female who are in a long term relationship with each other, and who have been able to continuously grow their relationship for more than 20 years.
It is written by two people who are both experienced coaches and who are committed to supporting others.
The other key difference here is the very structure of this book - The his & her story of the same events:
Each chapter starts with a brief introduction to an event or time in our relationship.
Then, you will read both his and her experience of that specific event.
Finally, we have written a conclusion together that explores the differences, explains what we learned and gives suggestions on how you can apply these lessons to improve your relationship
So, let’s get straight into it with His and Her Introduction to this book and our personal story of why we have written it.
Wishing you an outstanding relationship!
With love,
Kathy Menzies & Mikal Nielsen
Her Introduction
This book is about intimate relationships. Those things that seem to be breaking down at such an alarming rate in our society. Our 12 year old daughter was the only one in her group of eight to be living with both her birth parents in the same house. How can this be when we all carry the dream of “happy ever after”?
This book will answer this question through our story. This book is different from any other book on intimate relationships because it has two stories – his story and her story. We all know “men and women are so different” but do we really understand that? And then if we really do understand that, do we know what to do with that within our intimate relationship?
That’s what this book will do – show you the differences through personal anecdotes of our story and then show you ways of managing and embracing these differences. We are meant to be different, this is what draws us together and has the potential to make magic in our intimate relationships.
Mikal and I are here together writing this book. This is our testament and credibility. We are not experts, (whatever that means?) We are two people wanting to share our story, and then share the insights that we have learnt on this journey so far. Every story has the potential to be a teacher. We are all teachers and students.
How many arguments, discussions, or long silences have you had in your intimate relationship because what he says he said is completely different from what you heard? How much time and energy has been wasted festering over the things that he just doesn’t get. And then when you talk it through he sees it completely differently. That’s because he does. That is what this book will show you – how he does see it and why it is so different from how you see it. The madness and potential magic of this conundrum within our intimate relationship!!
We are proof that embracing our differences supports and nurtures our intimate relationship. There are so many reasons, as you will read, why we shouldn’t be together. Yet our relationship is continually growing,deepening and in many ways, continually starting anew.
Wherever you are in your relationship, this book will touch you and when you are touched, you are open to grow. And when you are open to grow, the magic begins.
Do read on and follow our tale of togetherness, separateness and everything in between. We would love you to be part of our journey, to grow alongside us in this wonderful journey of being Intimately Entwined.
His Introduction
“You said that you …”
“No, that’s not what I said, I said …”
“No way, I clearly remember that …”
How many times have you wished you had that voice recorder going to prove that you are right? But then again, that could backfire... Hmmm! So I decide that I will be more clear in my communication next time to avoid these misunderstandings and arguments. Good on me! All sorted!
Until next time:
“You said that you …”
“No, that’s not what I said, I said …”
“No way, I clearly remember that …”
Hmmm! Some things just won’t change, a realization I have had several times in my 20+ years of being with Kathy. And each time it has created a shift for the better.
This book is not a theory book on the differences between men and women, nor a whole book on how to run your marriage or long term relationship.
It is an open and brutally honest sharing of a couple’s journey through the maze of the masculine and feminine, and of our experience living together in an intimate relationship beyond the honeymoon phase. It goes past the first five years of ‘ok-ness’ and getting to know each other. It goes past the first decade of really getting to know each other and starting a family. And it goes right through to when the kids start to leave home, not in disgust, but in readiness for their own lives out in the big wide world.
It will take you through the highs, the lows and the boring middle, so it is guaranteed there will be lots of parts that you will relate to and learn from, in one way or another.
Here a little taster of what you will find in this book:
For about seven years (from 13 to 20 years of togetherness) Kathy would regularly point out, "They say that it is only the first 20 years of being together that's tough". I figured that seven years in the bigger picture wasn’t too bad. It would be worth hanging in there for another seven years if it was going to be a breeze after that. A few months after crossing that 20 year mark, I couldn't resist it any longer and said, "You said it was only going to be tough for the first 20 years. It hasn't worked out that way!" She looked straight at me and smiled, and without missing a beat said, "Oh, maybe it was 30 years" and walked off. If it hadn't been for her smile, lightheartedness and the utter ridiculousness of the 20 year theory, I would probably have been pretty pissed off, but I just couldn't help it and burst out laughing.
So, I invite you to join us as we take you through a relationship journey that, despite the challenges, has grown stronger and deeper year after year, right up until (and including) this moment of writing this book.
I promise you that you will be able to connect with this journey in one way or another and that you will learn something of value for yourself. And if you are in a relationship right now, you will get knowledge and inspiration to take it to the next stage of growth.
Don’t wait! Because relationships don’t. They need to be worked on continuously and NOW is the perfect time.
See you inside the book and inside our relationship.
Much love,
Mikal
Disclaimer:
Whatever we share in this book is our view. Whatever we suggest or advice is also from our viewpoint. Don’t take any of it as a truth. Explore and discover what is true for you.